Reviews

Review // Seduce Me Rabbit Clit Teaser

You know what I hate? I hate Pepto-Bismol pink. You know what else I hate? This toy. Coincidentally, this toy is Pepto-Bismol pink and I think that was the universes first sign to run. But did I listen? No. No I did not. 

But my hate isn’t unfounded. I don’t hate the toy exclusively because it’s pink. That would be ridiculous, and ridiculous I am not. (Most of the time.) 

I hate the bullet vibrator that slides into the silicone bunny sleeve that vibrates in all the wrong places. I hate the little bunny ears that are supposed to “flicker” against my clit. I hate the batteries this toy takes (three whole watch-style batteries). Honestly, if it’s powering a watch, it’s definitely not enough to get this girl off who lives off of deep, rumbling vibrations. 

I don’t know where, to begin with telling how horrible this clit-teasing-vibrator-from-hell is. I mean, it had one job- it still has one job: to get me off. It’s not like I’m someone who has a hard time getting off. Even though I prefer rumbling vibrations over buzzy vibrations, any amount of vibrations usually does the trick for me.  I like vibration! It’s just that simple! Or at least I thought it was. 

This little pink piece of shit says it would seduce someone, but if it’s idea of seduction is buzzing around and giving your clit and labia the sense that something might be vibrating against it, it won’t be seducing anyone anytime soon.  

I think the most fun I had with this toy was squeezing it as a little make-shift stress relief ball since I definitely couldn’t use getting off with it as stress relief despite trying it upwards of ten times. Each time just ended with me staring at it with pure hatred in my eyes and tossing it the side too upset to even finish jacking off with the thing.  

Once while throwing it, I thought “Maybe I should take the sleeve off. Maybe it’s just a bullet vibe that needs to be a bullet vibe without anything messing with it.” So I took the sleeve off, and ha! That was not the answer either. Once again it just gave me buzzy vibrations. Just with more intensity to make my clit and labia feel numb. 

I don’t think there’s anything that could be done to improve the bullet or the toy as a whole- sleeve and all. Nothing short of scraping the whole thing and redoing it from the ground up. Which, some might say is a harsh critique, but y’all weren’t the ones with this watch-battery-operated bullet from Satan buzzing against your bits.  

The bullet itself is made of ABS, and the rabbit sleeve is made of silicone- which is really great. All of this means it’s 100% safe for your body! That is literally the only good thing about this toy. It won’t hurt your body. (Maybe your soul when you realize you wasted your money and it doesn’t work at all.) 

On top of not being able to even bring me within a stone’s throw of an orgasm, this thing has the audacity to be more than $10. It’s, get this, a whopping $28.98- aka two meals from Chipotle (with guacamole!).  

Now, I’m no expert but I’d rather buy two meals from Chipotle and dip my chips in guacamole goodness vs. Get a buzzy bullet. (One of those things will bring you happiness, mind you.) 

If you are however a masochist and like to be frustrated and brought to near tears from the complete lack of orgasm you’re getting, you can buy this Rabbit Clit Teaser at TooTimid 

I received this toy free of charge from TooTimid in exchange for my honest opinion and review of it! Thank you TooTimid! 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: