• Kink,  Not A Review

    Discourse & Denial: An Analysis of Critical Discourse in the Kink Community

    As a community, we are all aware of the spaces in which sex and ethics intersect. We talk extensively about issues of consent and seek to educate others about the varying shades of the word “no”. We talk about practicing safe and consensual sex. We discuss respect for our partners and the necessity of open communication and active listening. But how do we approach sex ethics in kink-specific discourse? The vast majority of kinky individuals know and accept the very basic ethical tenets acknowledged and taught within our communities. We know to look for consent and to graciously accept when consent is not given or revoked, without pressuring or pushing the…

  • Mental Health

    Not always a safe high: Masturbation & My Mental Illness

    Did you know that an orgasm is the biggest non-drug blast of dopamine available? According to Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a brain scan of someone having an orgasm looks like a heroin addict’s- it’s a natural and safe high.     But that’s what I want to touch on today. That word. “Safe.” Because, in certain cases, masturbation isn’t always safe. I don’t mean you can get hairy palms, go blind, or lose your sex drive entirely. I mean that a person can masturbate too much, to a point where it becomes unsafe for them and can rock them mentally. This is a problem I deal with personally — the negative impact…

  • Not A Review,  Uncategorized

    Sex Down South 2018 Sponsor Call!

    Sex Down South is hosted in ATL this year, and goodness gracious does this girl wanna go! My name’s Wendy Phillips and I’m a PoC Sex Blogger. But I don’t stop my blogging only at sex blogging, I also blog about Mental Health Education, and problems in the PoC community. I was inspired to start my blog in early 2018, and I hope to have a long, educational, fun, and feel good journey with it! The good lord knows that I’m not rolling in dough though, so I’m asking for YOUR help! I am calling for sponsors to help me cover the expenses of the trip for SDS! These expenses include room and board, food, my plane…

  • Reviews

    Review // Seduce Me Rabbit Clit Teaser

    You know what I hate? I hate Pepto-Bismol pink. You know what else I hate? This toy. Coincidentally, this toy is Pepto-Bismol pink and I think that was the universes first sign to run. But did I listen? No. No I did not.  But my hate isn’t unfounded. I don’t hate the toy exclusively because it’s pink. That would be ridiculous, and ridiculous I am not. (Most of the time.)  I hate the bullet vibrator that slides into the silicone bunny sleeve that vibrates in all the wrong places. I hate the little bunny ears that are supposed to “flicker” against my clit. I hate the batteries this toy takes (three whole watch-style batteries). Honestly, if it’s powering a watch,…

  • Mental Health

    Mental Health, Hospital Stays, & Medication

    Trigger Warning: Mentions of Suicide, Hospitalization, and Hallucinations. “Hi, my name is Wendy Phillips, and I have Major Depression (Severe), Anxiety, Schizoaffective Disorder, and possible Bi-Polar. I’ve tried to kill myself seven times, and I’ve been hospitalized four of those times.” These are the words I say sometimes to remind myself why I need to be on medication and why sometimes it’s good for me to go to the hospital for an inpatient stay. My blog and Twitter have been empty for almost a week (my blog longer, since I only update it for posts). Why? Because I had to go to an inpatient facility for my (then) rapidly declining…

  • Reviews

    Review // Sola Hop

    When Peepshow Toys gave me a chance to try out the Sola Hop I was skeptical. I had seen rabbit vibrators in porn, in stores, and of course in reviews. Each of those things had a different reaction. In porn, it looked great like it was the next best thing since sliced bread. In the store it was a bit weird– I couldn’t figure out how it would fit my anatomy, and in reviews, there was always mixed emotions (some would love it, some would hate it!). It was the time I figured out a rabbit vibrator for myself. It was the time I spread my labia and fly. *flap flap*? I checked…

  • Reviews

    Review // Box of Dicks, Bag of Dicks, You’re a Dick?

    New and naive. One of these things I am not. And judging by the date of this blog, I’m pretty fucking new. This is a review of a toy, but it’s also a review of a company- one man company or many men company, I don’t care. Companies can get reviews just like toys can. And boy do I have a lot to say about this one-man-company (and their poor excuse for a dual density dildo.). So, let’s get all the way started. (Maybe grab a nice hot cuppa, ’cause this is gonna be a long one, folks.) When I first started TheWenchWorks, I only had two followers for a…

  • Sexual Health

    The Importance of Open Dialogue

    So I sat there on my bed, toy in vag, totally trying to fuck myself into oblivion– except there was one problem: I was fucking myself, but into frustration. The toy didn’t feel good, I wasn’t aroused, nothing was going right. What the fuck was wrong? I felt the excitement I had about getting my dildos in the mail start to dissipate. It wasn’t feeling good, and I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. My favorite porn was on, and the moans were nice and loud and (to my knowledge) real, and I was doing other things that turned me on. Finally, I gave up and threw my dildo…

  • Reviews

    Review // The Sybian

    Have you ever had an experience that was so amazing and so surreal that you can’t stop recounting it– even if days, months, or years go by? That’s me with the Sybian toy. It’s been a minute since I rode one of these bad boys, but I remember riding it like it was yesterday. It was possibly and easily one of the best orgasms of my life. It was full of moans, whimpers, and a lot of come. Tons of it.  It was like magic. Weighing 22lbs, and being generally huge, the Sybian toy seems like it would be a bit much.  I remember when I first saw it and…

  • Not A Review

    People of Color + Sexuality // Let’s Talk About It

     This post is a hard one for me to make. It’s been swirling in my head for some time now, and it’s ideas have been at the tip of my tongue, wanting to break free. I was scared to write this because I didn’t want to be cast aside as the Angry Black Girl™ who was always worried about race, but sometimes things need to be said and sometimes race makes a difference. Sexuality in the black community and in black families is a very taboo thing, in my experience. It’s something that should be kept on the “hush, hush” and never talked about too loudly or too openly– by…